epistle to james tennant of glenconner
    auld comrade dear, and brither sinner,
    how's a' the folk about glenconner?
    how do you this blae eastlin wind,
    that's like to blaw a body blind?
    for me, my faculties are frozen,
    my dearest member nearly dozen'd.
    i've sent you here, by johnie simson,
    twa sage philosophers to glimpse on;
    smith, wi' his sympathetic feeling,
    an' reid, to common sense appealing.
    philosophers have fought and wrangled,
    an' meikle greek an' latin mangled,
    till wi' their logic-jargon tir'd,
    and in the depth of science mir'd,
    to common sense they now appeal,
    what wives and wabsters see and feel.
    but, hark ye, friend! i charge you strictly,
    peruse them, an' return them quickly:
    for now i'm grown sae cursed douce
    i pray and ponder butt the house;
    my shins, my lane, i there sit roastin',
    perusing bunyan, brown, an' boston,
    till by an' by, if i haud on,
    i'll grunt a real gospel-groan:
    already i begin to try it,
    to cast my e'en up like a pyet,
    when by the gun she tumbles o'er
    flutt'ring an' gasping in her gore:
    sae shortly you shall see me bright,
    a burning an' a shining light.
    my heart-warm love to guid auld glen,
    the ace an' wale of honest men:
    when bending down wi' auld grey hairs
    beneath the load of years and cares,
    may he who made him still support him,
    an' views beyond the grave comfort him;
    his worthy fam'ly far and near,
    god bless them a' wi' grace and gear!
    my auld schoolfellow, preacher willie,
    the manly tar, my mason-billie,
    and auchenbay, i wish him joy,
    if he's a parent, lass or boy,
    may he be dad, and meg the mither,
    just five-and-forty years thegither!
    and no forgetting wabster charlie,
    i'm tauld he offers very fairly.
    an' lord, remember singing sannock,
    wi' hale breeks, saxpence, an' a bannock!
    and next, my auld acquaintance, nancy,
    since she is fitted to her fancy,
    an' her kind stars hae airted till her
    ga guid chiel wi' a pickle siller.
    my kindest, best respects, i sen' it,
    to cousin kate, an' sister janet:
    tell them, frae me, wi' chiels be cautious,
    for, faith, they'll aiblins fin' them fashious;
    to grant a heart is fairly civil,
    but to grant a maidenhead's the devil.
    an' lastly, jamie, for yoursel,
    may guardian angels tak a spell,
    an' steer you seven miles south o' hell:
    but first, before you see heaven's glory,
    may ye get mony a merry story,
    mony a laugh, and mony a drink,
    and aye eneugh o' needfu' clink.
    now fare ye weel, an' joy be wi' you:
    for my sake, this i beg it o' you,
    assist poor simson a' ye can,
    ye'll fin; him just an honest man;
    sae i conclude, and quat my chanter,
    your's, saint or sinner,
    rob the ranter.

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